Who I Am
by Gale Silverwing
Summary: She knows what she is. But he knows her better than she claimed to be. Rated M for gore.


Droplets of rain started to pour down on the city of Kabukicho. It was a rather depressing Monday to start the week. There were very few people roaming the streets due to the unpleasant weather which only seemed to worsen, yet it didn't stop a certain orange-haired girl from wandering around the streets of the village. Apart from the occasional sounds of downpour, the girl was surrounded by a deafening silence.

For those who were in some ways acquainted to her and almost saw her on a daily basis, then one would probably think that she was only undergoing the stage of being an over-emotional teenager. But that wasn't the case for Kagura. She never was what she seems to be.

After wandering around aimlessly, she stopped on her tracks as her gaze landed on the flowing river under the bridge. Deciding that it would be an appropriate place to finally have the chance to mull things over, she made her way towards it. She adjusted her parasol and stood there and let the fast currents hypnotize and drown her in her endless train of thoughts.

…

* * *

><p><em>Gintoki and Shinpachi were both sprawled on the floor with no signs of consciousness. There were plenty of screams heard inside the abandoned laboratory which belonged to the innocent victims of a sadistic experiment which was held by none other than Fugaku Ukane, he had managed to create different kinds of concoctions; some were harmful, or may cause immediate death upon contact but the worse was the liquid serum which could not only make you lose your sanity…but also cause inhuman transformations. In short, the one who drinks it becomes a mutant.<em>

_The Yorozuya Trio had been told to gather information about the abandoned laboratory somewhere far away and remote. It was a real misfortune to run into Fugaku since he was rumored to be a ruthless, merciless mad scientist...and he really does live up to those rumors as he offered a pitiful, struggling child as a meal to the infected mutant who limped in a zombie-like fashion towards him. A cold smirk formed to his uncaring face as he watched the glorious scene before him, the petty struggles of the remaining survivors being proven futile as they were mauled by his creations. Then, at the corner of his eyes, he saw a VERY familiar person…a very familiar person indeed._

_He made his way towards the unconscious white-haired samurai who was surprisingly free from any bruises and appeared to be still breathing along with a younger boy with straight jet-black hair whose glasses were slightly scratched. His eyes glinted darkly, a greedy smirk forming on his face. Perhaps, he could transform The White Demon or Sakata Gintoki into one of his mutants, he would surely aid him to his wishes. The younger one, he decided, were to be killed, as he failed to see any other use for him._

_Unsheathing his long sharp sword, he positioned himself in a striking position as he aimed for the glasses-wearing boy. He raised the both of his arms and were ready to strike—_

_A loud crash filled the room, quickly followed by the sounds of collapsing walls. White smoke surrounded the entire place making Fugaku squint to at least try to see who has joined his party. He aimed his sword in front of him to cut down the intruder, then before he knew what was happening, he was already flying backwards as he felt a bone crushing kick on his left cheek._

_He collided with the wall and were on his all fours before being picked up by his collar. His gaze met with a pair of vicious looking azure orbs._

"_Where is Gin-chan and Megane, aru?," the girl said as she shook him, "TELL ME WHERE THEY ARE BEFORE I CRUSH YOUR FACE ARU!"_

_He started to cough as her grip tightened before laughing maniacally causing the girl to glare daggers at him. "My…don't you look familiar? Orange hair, blue eyes…pale skin. You must be from the Yato clan! With your amazing strength and all…and you remind me of Kamui. I suppose you are his si-"_

_She punched him in the face. "I warned you already, you sick bastard. Will you tell me where they are or I will have to punch you again? What's it gonna be, aru?" She threatened._

_With one swift kick on the girl's belly, Fugaku escaped from her grip as she clutched her hurting stomach. She was about to punch him before he pointed his sword towards her, making her halt. _

"_I wouldn't do that if I were you, little missy. You said you were looking for 'Gin-chan' and 'Megane' am I correct?"_

_She spat at him in response._

_He chuckled, "Feisty aren't we? If you're looking for your comrades, they're over there," he said as he pointed at the other side of the room ,"But I can't guarantee that they're still alive…seeing that my pets are really starving."_

_Finally taking in the scene before her, the girl's eyes widened as she scanned the room. It was filled with corpses and half-eaten bodies, and it smelled already of rotting flesh and dead blood. She then saw the cause of all these monstrosities; human-like beasts. They were scattered all around the laboratory, some eating in packs while the bigger, bulkier ones eating alone. Quickly, she jumped around the blood stained tables and made her way towards her family._

_Finally seeing a white strand of hair she clumsily landed and crawled over to them, dodging a blow from those damned beasts. She saw a little mutant limping towards the unconscious Shinpachi and she quickly shot it in the head. Then, the mutant staggered, fell to it's own two knees and looked at her. It's eyes brimming with unshed tears before closing it forever and it landed with a soft thud._

_Hastily, she pulled Shinpachi and Gintoki close to her chest as she scanned the room for a possible escape door. She could've used the hole she created if only she could see it. Then, she was pulled harshly away from Gintoki and Shinpachi. _

"_Ah, ah ,aah…where do you think you're going little missy?" Fugaku growled behind her ear._

_Kagura tried to break free from his grip using her strength and Fugaku almost lost his balance if only he didn't place his sword on her neck._

"_It is not wise to be brash, little missy. As I was saying earlier, before you cut me off, you are from the Yato Clan. A clan that is one of the strongest in the whole of the Amanto…you see, I can make use of your strength. You, me along with Sakata Gin-"_

"_WHAT THE HELL ARU! I'M NEVER JOINING A PERSON AS SICK AS YOU ARU!"_

_Fugaku laughed once more. "But your opinion doesn't matter to me! But to your comrades? It matters because it will determine their fates!"_

"_What are you trying to say, aru?"_

"_If you and Sakata join my forces…I will release that boy." Fugaku said as he pointed towards Shinpachi._

_The girl's nerves twitched. More than anything, she hated having to choose between evil and evil. She and Gin-chan will join and become this weakling's slaves forever and Shinpachi leads to an easy life? No…Megane would probably do everything in his power to bring her and Gin back. So what's the difference? Bah…damn it all, she thought, No one's getting left behind this time._

_Then, the unsuspecting Fugaku was thrown on the ground as Kagura pointed her parasol towards him. Reversing their previous positions._

"_So I take it you refuse my offer?"_

_She shot him on his shoulder blade as an answer._

"_You'll regret this…," then, he took a suspicious looking harmonica from his pocket and began playing an eerie tune. After the first notes, Kagura noticed that the beasts have stopped on what they were doing and one by one…was starting to go near Fugaku. Her eyes widened as she finally realized what that harmonica was for…it controls the beasts!_

"_Attack all of them!"_

_Kagura was frozen in spot as one of them were about to lunge at her but her eyes widened when it was cut in two. She looked behind her and saw Gin, much to her relief, was already conscious._

"_Oi brat, I thought you were our back-up? This shouldn't have happened if you arrived earlier you lazy ass!" Gin scolded._

_Irritation could now be evident on Kagura's face, "Shut up you natural perm, aru! Did you know how heavy you weighed? You're the lazy ass since you were pretending to be Sleeping Beauty all the time!"_

_Gintoki only smiled fondly at her and ruffled her head. "Let's get this over with."_

"_Let's kick their asses, aru!"_

_Gintoki slung Shinpachi over his shoulder and began cutting and slashing his enemies while Kagura shot each of the beasts in the head. Everything was going along smoothly until Gintoki was knocked over by a large beast. Kagura's eyes widened and was about to head over to them but she were being held by the 'small fry'. She cursed with each shot as she saw Gin and the large beast fight each other._

_Then at the corner of her eye, she saw Fugaku behind her raising his sword in a cutting position. Thankfully, she hauled a beast at him making him lose his balance. The bad news was her shoulder blade got cut. Kagura winced in pain as she tried to move it. Damn, of all the places to hit…she thought._

_She felt something heavy on her back. Before she could determine what it is, she had already fallen down. The both of her hands being held on her back and she heard a chuckle above her._

"_You should've just said yes, little missy. Now I'll have you watch how my pets tear your precious Gin-chan apart_

_Fugaku played another eerie tune, "ATTACK THEM!" he yelled pointing towards the struggling Gintoki and Shinpachi who was up to now, unconscious. _

_The beasts started to head towards Gintoki. Kagura was panicking right now, desperately trying to pry herself from Fugaku._

"_GIN-CHAN! BEHIND YOU!"_

_But she was too late, Gintoki was unceremoniously thrown on the ground. The other beasts are getting nearer and nearer to him…and all Kagura could do was to scream Gintoki and Shinpachi's name._

_She could hear the savage growls of the beasts who were once innocent people, she could see Gintoki cutting any beast that got near to him, she could hear Fugaku's mad laughter above her…all these things were happening right before her eyes and all she could do was watch._

_She couldn't think clearly anymore, she was beginning to black out, 'No…I can feel it…I have to suppress it…because if I don't…who would?' she thought as she closed her eyes._

_From above her, Fugaku clearly noticed the change of her aura, "I see that your Yato instincts are kicking in…let's see how long you can hold it back. Let's see who the real monster IS."_

_Then as if on cue, the beasts became more persistent and Gintoki was DESPERATELY trying to keep them at bay._

"_Show me your power!"_

_One of the beasts got the chance to bite Gintoki's left arm. Gintoki screamed in pain. And there goes the last string of Kagura's humanity._

_Her Yato instincts began spreading all throughout her body as fast as lightning, she felt adrenaline consume her, she could feel that she was getting stronger._

_Everything was happening so fast, everything was a blur…yet all she could see was red. She tore the beasts, limb by limb as their blood and flesh were splattered on her hands. All she could feel was the desire to kill. She lusted for blood. She CRAVES blood. _

_She killed every beast on sight, unstopping, relentless and unmerciful. _

"_YOU ARE A MONSTER!" Fugaku yelled, amusement evident in his voice. She was worth hundreds of those good for nothing beasts! And now, she was all his to control! Quickly, he retrieved his harmonica and started to play a new tune, though sharing the first one's eeriness yet sounded more commanding._

_It immediately caught Kagura's attention. Slowly, she started making her way towards him._

"_I command you to kill them!" he said, pointing to Gintoki and Shinpachi. He no longer needed the white samurai if he could have this…this much power!_

_A killer grin stretched across her face as she headed towards them. Gintoki was watching Kagura cautiously, hiding Shinpachi behind his back._

"_Kagura…know who the REAL enemy is…" Gintoki said to her._

_Fugaku smirked ,"Reasoning is not going to work, she is now nothing but a monster whom I control…she will ki-"_

_Kagura's strong hand encircled his neck, cutting his air supply._

"_Wh-what are *cough* doing? *cough*" Fugaku stammered. He could feel his eyes bulging out from their sockets. Why wasn't she responding to his command?_

_Then, Kagura smashed him on the already blood stained floor and dragged him by his hair. She ripped out his left arm and threw it away. He screamed. She ripped out his right arm. He screamed. _

_The both of them were in a large puddle of blood._

_Kagura continued to decapitate him, his screams and begs were left unheard of by her as she continued on detaching his body parts._

"_KAGURA! THAT'S ENOUGH! REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE!" Gintoki yelled as he limped towards her._

_Kagura never stopped, she could remember the tears of that mutated child, she could remember how this man made innocent people suffer. Most of all…he hurt her precious Gin-chan and Shinpachi._

_Gin-chan and Shinpachi…_

_GIN-CHAN AND SHINPACHI!_

_She felt being lifted and taken away from the now lifeless body of Fugaku Ukane. She started to thrash and scream but the one gripping her, Gintoki, only pulled her closer._

_Then she saw the newcomers. The Shinsegumi._

_Each of the men wore faces of horror and disgust. She wanted to tear them, too. Why did they only arrive now? Why did they have to arrive now when there were already so many blood lost?_

_Breaking free from Gin, she sprinted towards the Shinsegumi officers and were about to attack them when—_

"_China." A familiar voice called. She halted immediately._

_Then she felt a hand put on her shoulder ,"Kagura…"_

_She felt her strength leave her, her Yato instincts were wearing off. She fell to her knees as her senses came rushing in back at her._

_Her fists clenched as she saw what she had just done. On a piece of shattered glass lying beside her, she saw her reflection._

_The reflection of a monster._

_How could she let it control her once again? _

_Then she saw the looks of the people surrounding her. She saw Gintoki, she saw Shinpachi…then she saw Okita Sougo, Hijikata, Kondo, Yamazaki…_

"_Tch.." tears were starting to well in her eyes. She knew how they think of her now…she was a monster._

_She stood up and ran away. She ran and ran and ran._

_She didn't know where she was going, she just kept on running away. She was desperate to escape from there. _

_The trees she passed by were all but a blur to her, she never stopped running. She never stopped running away until she blacked out once more._

…

_Kagura woke up in the hospital two days later. She was engulfed with a hug by Otae while Gin and Shinpachi were hovering close by. The both of them smiling at her._

_Thinking that it was for the best, she claimed that she doesn't remember anything of what happened to her before she passed out. Hopefully, it'll be enough to make them think that she's fine._

_Which she is not. And never will be._

_She only knew one thing now, she was no different from her brother._

_No…she was much, much worse._

* * *

><p>Kagura opened her eyes and saw her own reflection staring back at her. Until it grinned only as a monster would. Angrily, she plunged herself deep into the river, which was peaceful since the rain had subsided until she sunk on it.<p>

After a few seconds, Kagura's head popped into view. She waddled closer at the bay.

"Oi China, aren't you a little too old to be splashing around the river?" Sougo drawled. He was wearing his Shinsegumi uniform and was probably on watch until she came into his peripheral vision.

She wanted to retort but chose to hold her tongue, she remembered all too well how horrified his stare was to her.

Using the both of her elbows for support, she climbed out of the water and sat for a while before standing up. She picked up her parasol and was starting to walk away when he called her again.

"China."

She stopped walking. And without facing him she asked ,"What?"

She could hear his footsteps getting nearer and nearer to her. "You remember, don't you?"

She flinched. Somehow, despite their arguments and fights…he could always see right through her.

She chose to remain silent.

"Whatever it is that you're thinking, you're wrong."

Angrily, she swung her umbrella at him ,"WRONG? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU KNOW FOOL!?"

He easily dodged her attack. "That you're wrong."

A nerve twitched.

She swung her parasol again at him, "Don't play smart ass with me brat. Mind your own business, aru."

"You're the brat. Over-emotional b*tch."

"Why you-!"

An all-out brawl ensued. The both of them exerting extra effort than usual, this was the first time they could fight after all after that certain 'incident'.

Fighting with each other helped the both of them to unleash their pent up frustrations.

They fought each other 'till the sun was down and the skies was beginning to darken. The both of them lied down on the ground, each covered in sweat.

Their breathing was loud and erratic at first until it slowly began to ease down until it returned to their normal, shallow breathing.

After a while, Kagura sat up. Sougo's eyes were immediately on her.

"Oi China. Where are you going?"

Kagura snorted, "Obviously at home, aru."

Kagura stood up and dusted her sullied clothes and retrieved her parasol using her foot. Sougo stood up as well and walked towards her.

"Tomorrow, meet me here at 4:00 in the afternoon. As punishment for not being able to fight with me these past few weeks, you and me will have a match everyday."

Then he did the unthinkable, he ruffled her hair and draped his jacket over her. From the distance, a furious Hijikata appeared.

"SOUGO YOU BASTARD! YOU SKIPPED WATCH AGAIN YOU LAZY ASSED BRAT!" Hijikata yelled, Sougo sighed.

"I'll be going now. I think I'll stop by that strange store to buy some voodoo dolls to torture Hijikata with…"

Kagura, who was tongue tied finally snapped out of it and did not let him get the last word, "Oi sadist! You've already fallen for me didn't you? At least tell me what you think of me aru!"

"Don't flatter yourself too much, China. You're still too ugly to be my love interest."

Kagura felt a smile tug at her lips, everything was just like the way they used to, she was glad that everyone was treating her the same way they always did…and that sadist was no exception. Then her eyes landed on Sougo's retreating back and to his jacket…she felt her face heat up as she began to trudge back home.

* * *

><p>"Sougo you # $%$! Get me down from here!" Hijikata shouted as he dangled on the tree branch.<p>

Somewhere inside the Shinsegumi HQ, Sougo was sleeping peacefully on his futon. A small blush crept up his cheeks as he remembered the events a while ago.

Tomorrow, everything will be normal. He thought.

Little did he know though, that his one small interference would change Kagura's perspective of herself.

And it was better that way. As they both have a long way to go before finally, someday ending up in front of the altar.


End file.
